When college essays fail it is usually because they do not start out with a strong claim or thesis statement. This fundamental step in the essay writing process has many pitfalls. Here are some of the best ways to avoid mistakes and improve critical thinking.
Thesis Statement Help – Making a Broad Claim
One main problem with thesis statements is that they are too general or do not make a claim. For example, an essay that begins with the claim: “This paper will discuss gender in Fairytales” does not offer a position or point of view on the subject. Gender is a huge topic and the statement is too broad with no precise issue to be resolved.
The solution is to raise specific issues for the essay to explore. For example, “The depiction of women in Fairytales promotes gender inequality by focusing on the reward of marriage.” In this revised thesis statement, the focus is specific because it concerns gender inequality and marriage.
Another problem with broad or overly simplified statements is that they avoid any complexity. For example, “Violent revolutions have had both positive and negative results for man.” This statement could fit almost any topic (virtually anything can be positive or negative, have pros or cons, or have similarities or differences). It also suggests an either/or response when there could be many other factors that are left unexplored.
The solution is to convert broad categories and generalizations into more specific claims. For Example, “Although violent revolutions begin to redress long-standing social inequities, they often do so at the cost of long-term economic dysfunction and the suffering that attends it.” This revised statement narrows the topic to the economic impact of revolutions giving the argument some direction.
Thesis Statement Help – Statement of Fact
A second problem with thesis statements is that they may simply offer a statement of fact rather than an argument. For example, “The rise of technology has greatly impacted the newspaper industry.” This is obviously true and therefore not a strong thesis. If there is general agreement about the statement, in other words, if most reasonable people would agree, then it is not really a good topic for analysis.
The solution is to devise a question about the facts or issues raised about the topic. Make an assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree. For example, “The rise of technology has changed the way the public consumes news, and not in a good way.” This revised statement suggests a clear point of view and something to argue over.
Thesis Statement Help – Clichés
A third problem with thesis statements is that they are often clichés. Similar to stating the facts, clichés are worn-out points of view that do not really complicate the issue. For example, the statement, “Women are used to market cars because sex sells” says nothing worth proving because it is a cliché. A strong thesis statement will avoid culturally approved answers or observations because they do not promote thinking, and are so general and widely accepted that they do not teach anything new.
The solution to this form of thesis statement is to complicate the issue, look for more than one point of view. A strong claim will avoid conventional wisdom unless it provides a fresh perspective. For example, “The tendency to use women to sell cars is often seen as an example of the wide-spread objectification of women by the advertising industry. However, others see it as a sign of female emancipation.”
Thesis Statement Help – Opinion Essay
The fourth problem with thesis statements is that they offer a personal opinion. Stating personal likes and dislikes leads to judgments and reactions of disapproval or approval. Personal opinions are not self-evident truths. For example, “Toni Morrison is the best writer of the twentieth century because her work really speaks to me.” There is no argument here, simply a personal opinion that is hard to prove.
The solution for this type of claim is to be more objective and look at other points of view; treat your ideas as hypothesis to be tested rather than obvious truths. “Toni Morrison’s writing has helped to educate a whole new generation on the effects of slavery in the United States.”
Finally, a good question for diagnosing a thesis is: ‘What does the thesis require the writer to do next?” In other words, what does the thesis actually want to claim? Asking these questions and avoiding generalization, obvious statements of fact, and personal opinions will result in much stronger thesis statement and therefore, better essays.
Source
Rosenwasser, David; Stephen, Jill; and Babington, Doug . Writing Analytically. Toronto: Thomson, 2006
Marilyn Michaud - Marilyn Michaud teaches English Literature and writing in Toronto. Her research interests include American history and culture, Gothic ...
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